Angry with myself...

Just trying to unload here to get it off my mind...

I am pretty upset with myself right now. I got thirty dollars to spend on myself for my birthday. Because we don't have much money I used it on the household things we needed. The reason I am upset is because I was upset that I didn't get to use it on the paints that I wanted to get with it...my supply is getting low. I realized I was just being selfish and got even more upset at myself!

...So when the person that gave me the money found out what I spent it on they went, "Uht, that's not a present!" Then the same person asked later when my last eye exam was...I replied that it has been 7 or 8 years. I got a raised voice at me again. I wanted to reply, "What? I am a wife and a mom, my family comes first." But didn't because I don't really stand up for myself.

Anyway, my question...if anyone is reading this is...I don't think I'm alone? Surely every mother gives up her wants and needs for her husband and children...right? I felt completely ostracized by this other mother for not doing for myself. Is it really so bad to give all you have for your family?

Well, this was just a late night rant so I could unload...and I know I probably contradicted myself but maybe now I will be able to sleep instead of thinking about it all night! Goodnight cyber world!