Dearest Joel,

I have been thinking of you a lot lately. Every time I see an article on circumcision I cringe. I know now that our decision to circumcise you was not a good one. What is even worse were our reasons...we thought that because circumcision is in the Bible that meant you needed to be circumcised. We now realize that God loves you even if you are kept whole. He does not care whether or not you are circumcised. What God really cares about is what is in your heart. Whether or not you follow him and live according to his Holy word.

I knew the minute I heard your screams from the hospital nursery that we had chosen wrong. You're never really going to remember what your daddy's looks like and maybe you'd never even care. I very much regret not rushing into that nursery and scooping you up off of that cold hard board you were strapped down to. I very much regret letting anyone touch you with a knife in your most private area against your will. It should have been your decision and I am sorry that your father and I made it for you. I can only hope and pray that from our horrible decision good will come. I hope and pray that we can impact others to think twice about circumcision. It was not our choice to make, it was not our body we were scarring...but until you are old enough to talk to me about it my mind is scarred and I am very sorry.

I love you very very much,
Mommy