Not sure...

Not sure what I am trying to say here. I am really between a rock and a hard place. I love my husband and I love my family. I know Kevin's letter below will tick some people off...family that is. But are my husband and I to keep our emotions hidden and smile like nothing is wrong? Something is wrong...our family is seperated! No one can really understand what we are going through unless they have been through the same situation. We have lived in hell for the past two years...wondering if someone would come take our children from us, wondering if someone would come take Kevin, wondering if someone would decide they were done screwing around with our lives and put a bullet in Kevin's head, we haven't been able to pay our bills, Kevin couldn't keep his jobs because of the stress, hospital and doctors visits because of anxiety, panic attacks, children not understanding why all of a sudden you just couldn't put up with their crap anymore...the list could go on forever. Do you realize what things like this can do to people? How about the fact that most of that list is still true to this day, and will be for at least the next two years, if not the rest of our lives? How about the couple's relationship that spent most of the summer struggling because the husband thought the best way for his family to get through all of this was divorce...at least that way her family would accept her fully because he wouldn't be in the picture anymore. How about a man who was so broken over the whole situation that he was going to kill himself. How about the wife who wondered why her husband hadn't come in from the garage yet and if she goes out there will she find him hanging from the rafters? Oh, what about the man who had to be told he has to let his children go now because we are late for court, and knowing that was probably the last time for a long time that he would be able to hold his own kids? Are you crying yet? Because I am.